The author is Nataliya Adamyuk, researcher and teacher of sign language, author of 150 articles. NGO "All-Ukrainian Public Organization of People with Hearing Disabilities "Ukrainian Society of the Deaf".
If you started reading this article, you probably have a direct relationship with the audience to which it is dedicated, or a tangential one, which means either your curiosity or the search for information to help someone from your circle. In any case, having knowledge about something never hurt anyone.
Pay attention to the keywords in the title of the article: Ukraine, adulthood, integration, UTOG... It is in this sequence that we will try to help you. With Your permission, I will transfer to You in order to shorten the imaginary distance between us, erase any limiting frameworks and enter together into the space of Trust. Good?
So - Ukraine. In my opinion (I have been lucky enough to visit different countries), the opportunities are different in your country and in some other country. It may be scary to hear this from me, but Ukraine is not yet Europe or the USA with Canada. The mentality of society is different. Attitudes to people based on some characteristic (for example, gender, skin color, belonging to a certain nation, a certain religion and, of course, to persons of a certain nosology) are different. In the latter case, I will allow you to throw in a few examples from what I saw in Canada more than 10 years ago, so that you understand me correctly:
- the same goes for toilet stalls (sorry for that example). You will object by saying that we have toilet cubicles for people in wheelchairs. Yes, there is. And I am ashamed of this, because they remind us of the ancient past of humanity: a wagon for whites and a wagon for blacks;
- the same with stairs, or rather, ramps: they are in new buildings, but they are so cool! Even a physically healthy person will not be able to get out every time with the help of arm muscles, pulling himself out with a cart! And they have gentle stairs or elevators (even public transport can have them);
- what about an alarm, a warning about danger? Deaf people are also afraid of danger, but nothing tells them about it, so they work for themselves at machines and office tables. Because it is difficult for building designers to come up with a design that involves light (in addition to sound) signals. It is even difficult to connect a video intercom to the front doors of all houses (imagination: I ran down from the fifth floor to open the front door on the first ambulance that arrived for my husband: heart attack); it is difficult to install a videophone in the same elevator car to call the dispatcher if the elevator stops (sorry, I got carried away).
… Abroad, I often made mistakes, guessing which of the couple was a person with normal hearing and who was Deaf. With moist eyes, I watched a beautiful young couple: He is in a wheelchair, and She is next to Him, and both of them are eating ice cream with laughter... You understood that the philosophy of life in Ukraine and in developed countries is different. But! What is happening now in your country shows that we want changes, qualitative changes. And we are going to this, we do not want to go to Europe in words. And so far there are differences, and you should take this into account. Because, warned means armed.
And now let's talk about you. It is necessary to place all the points above andto see yourself from the side, to find a way to solve the difficult and important questions of your life; it is possible to pave the way and follow it as long as it is concerned. So, you now have a new status - late deaf (I do not think that this term should be interpreted). You are an adult. More likely, you are a military man (and don't say that was, because a teacher does not stop being a teacher in different situations). You are most likely a man (but maybe you are a woman, because women are also at the front), and your problem is related to the war. Although you can lose your hearing in everyday life, but it is to a lesser extent now. Even in a smaller one - due to an illness (this little one can quickly and often catch a cold in the ears and suffer from otitis). You can judge whether I guessed who you are. In any case, remember: You are the same, and your surroundings are the same. And so that it does not change, do not allow yourself to change for the worse. Be the same (although it is unlikely) or change in a better and better way for yourself.
Did I write vaguely, somehow vaguely? OK. I will cheer you up. With hearing loss, you won't switch from your favorite borscht to soup, will you? Maybe you can learn to cook it yourself? Or will you also prepare a bograch and invite your brothers to you? Do you like this puzzle? So).
Well, seriously, hearing loss is not soup, not borscht, and not even bograch. With reduced hearing or its absence, you will not be calm, and this is understandable. However, you are strong, strong-willed, experienced in life and should critically assess the situation, and therefore the first act. Remember that attack is the best self-defense? In other words: your life activity is a method of fighting against artificial (artificial, because people like you often do it) self-isolation. Self-isolation is your enemy. It is a sign of weakness. It is a road to nowhere. And if you are a fighter, then you have to withstand my blows of comparisons. Let's go!
Despite the fact that you stopped hearing the usual sounds for you, I will call you lucky. Exactly. Maybe hearing loss is a test you have to go through, but it's a happy test. how is it Let's analyze.
- speech You didn't stop talking with your hearing loss, did you? No. Now you are trying to amplify your voice so that you can hear yourself speaking; you will increase to a scream, which will be poorly perceived by others (remember if you yourself liked to hear screams in the past); in addition, you will to some extent spoil the usual tonality and timbre of your voice. stop It is better to return to the usual power of the voice (your memory will tell you) and start studying your speech in silence. Do you listen to how the spinning rod behaves when the fish goes to the hook? Are your fingers telling you? In the same way, your brain will tell you when you will speak, but first give it instructions, teach it to remember the features of your speech. That is, you learn to listen yourself: either tactilely (hands on the neck, chest, for example) or with the help of a hearing aid, for which you should contact an ENT doctor. And don't stop talking. Not understood? Look: one invested a lot of money to learn to speak English because he planned to travel. It didn't work out, many years passed. Do you think he will speak English fluently now? No, because there was no practice, no English-speaking environment. So here too. You must speak in order not to forget, to stick to the oral speech you had before…
What is happiness here, in relation to speech? - you ask And the fact that others who were born deaf or lost their hearing at an early age do not even know what "speech" is. They have to learn to speak for years or throughout their lives, to form a voice that they do not know.
- Language. So, your speech is on point, and you speak (and write) some language: Ukrainian, Russian, English, probably. You didn't even think that language is a whole science that has its own sections. What is there? - phonetics, morphology, word formation, punctuation, phraseology, syntax - that is, these are all the rules of the language, and you learned them at school. Not in order to learn to speak again, but in order to understand how words were formed, etc.... You are happy because you - verbal unlike others sign language Deaf people, who cannot hear speech and learn the national verbal language, which is essentially foreign to them (because sign language is their native language). Apparently, you already see the meaning of your happiness in this comparison)))... And here it can be greater. I will say right away that people who hear make many mistakes in writing words! Because as they say, so they write: the corridor is not corridor, delays - be late etc. Deaf people who have learned verbal language write much better than many people with normal hearing. In this regard, you can improve your written speech, because you will pay attention to writing more often than before.
- friends Here it is easier (or morally more difficult?). Do you have friends? So you can recognize them in your trouble. Although you are already an adult and have already made sure of the loyalty of your friends. They will not change their attitude towards you if you do not change your attitude towards them (remember: self-isolation is your enemy). Instead, I will tell you: You should share your thoughts and experiences with them: they want and need to understand you, to understand your difficulties in something. In a conversation with them, say that it is better for you when they speak directly looking at you, that they should convey to you about the content of any information they hear - that way you will be in tune, that way you will go synchronously with them in any matter . Together with them, you will find a convenient way to obtain information (for example, sign language, and why not?). The main thing: do not forget your friends yourself.
This is about friends from among those who hear. But later you will have new friends, from among the Deaf. They are also interesting, colorful) and faithful. If you want to be friends with them, you will communicate with them using sign language. Therefore, you will learn it in the process of communication - this is the best way. It is more likely that among the Deaf you will find late deafness. And a common history of hearing loss can connect you. So, what are you lucky here? In the fact that you will have new friends without losing old ones).
I didn't want to write here, but I have to. I am talking about a relationship with a person of the opposite sex. With a woman if you are a man, with a man if you are a woman. Here is not only communication, not only intimacy, here is much deeper: the attitude towards you, towards your new status. In most cases, an official or civil marriage returns to its track in the same guise, or in a qualitative one, after some period of friction. It helps this, oddly enough - sign language. Remember that abroad I could not distinguish a person with normal hearing in a pair, because they both communicated in sign language. You will see for yourself later. But there are cases when couples break up. It's bitter, but it is. I don't think you would agree to live with a person who has to put up with your status. What is the main thing in marriage? Of course: Love, Sincerity, Trust. And is it possible to find a partner from the Deaf world? Definitely! And the marriage is often happy.
- Culture of two worlds. The world of the Deaf and the world of hearing people. Well, you yourself are from the world of those who hear, because you lived in it for a long time and continue to live according to the rules, norms of the culture his own the world This world is yours, You will never betray it, because you will never betray yourself. In the same way, the Deaf do not leave their world - their cultural and linguistic identity, because they are faceless without it. You are lucky in that you will often visit this new, so bright, original world... So, you have two worlds, and this is your wealth and uniqueness. You will distinguish representatives of two worlds, you will know the culture of two worlds - how great it is! You can bring the signs of a second culture into your first world, introduce them to your old faithful friends, instill in them the best that you will like in the new world for you. A lot of pathos? Need an example right here and now? OK. I like to call one sign "herd feeling" (well, sorry, I didn't choose a more cultural wording at the time, but I liked it), when we are always together, when we always walk in a large group, when we run to some event, because there will be our. Do you understand my wording now? Not yet? Then yes: not a single cow voluntarily breaks away from the herd. Now it's over?))) Thanks to this feeling, the Deaf now live compactly abroad: they protest when they are placed in various refugee camps, etc.; even in the camp itself, they occupy nearby buildings (well, the point of the Deaf is pure to you!))).
Withstood my blows of comparisons? Then you are a great guy. I briefly described the charms of the world of the Deaf... But no matter how beautiful it is, we live next to hearing people. We are a microsociety, they are a macrosociety. And we as a microsociety live in a macrosociety, we live among people who hear. We are all Humans, we are all Earthlings, because we live on the same planet. Let us live together. That's why the Deaf learn the language of those who hear - verbal, that's why we study according to the same educational program, we watch the same movies, and we work together with hearing people. Therefore, preserving the "herd feeling", we sort of dissolve in that big world.
By the way, I may forget to say something at the end, so I will insert it here: you can find the answer to many other questions in an interesting and accessible reference book, which was created with the support of of the European Union in Ukraine and the International Foundation "Renaissance" and presented at the discussion "Inclusive society in Ukraine. The path of a person with a disability due to the war to an independent life. The role and task of everyone" with the participation of representatives of the public and authorities. That's right, by the way. And now I will continue…
Therefore, you understood that there is such a way (not even one) to the macro-society, where you come from, called "integration". And the ways of integration are diverse. Who were you before you lost your hearing? Remembering that self-isolation is your enemy, do not leave your place if there is an opportunity to be there, whether it is a front line, an institution of higher education, a ministry, a factory, a medical institution, etc. Considering the unfortunate (so far) status quo for you, look around: where would you like to move a little? There, where hearing is not such a big need, where your skills and knowledge, which you can demonstrate, are the main thing. Is it difficult without examples? OK. In the artillery, you can't be a radio operator (to catch sounds), but a gunner? After all, your eyes are with you? You won't be able to translate verbal language (where you need to hear the other side), but you can translate articles, huge chapters, a book? Here hearing seems to be of no use, the main thing is knowledge of languages. Likewise, work in the IT industry, economic, and financial spheres. Isn't it bad to be a designer of a car, apartment, etc.? Farmer, baker, etc. can you?! Unlike those Deaf who were born deaf or lost their hearing in early childhood...
Here, your self will come to the fore. You yourself have to prove that you are a Man, or even a Personality. It is also unique. Thus, we formulate:
- the main rule: – self-affirmation in the old place, self-affirmation in a new place, where you will still have to prove your qualitative uniqueness;
- the second rule: accept your status calmly. Learn to declare it immediately to avoid misunderstandings: you will be calm and the interlocutor will know how to behave (I will give an example again: a passer-by asks: what time is it, and you answer with a watch on your hand: "I don't know", because you think that he asks how to get to some object there. If you like to see the bewildered look of the interlocutor, then move in the same spirit. But - no, I am convinced that you will do the right thing and say that you do not hear and apologize for that , that you can't help in something). You will both feel friendly;
- the third rule: do not use your status for some benefit (benefit), do not seek pity for yourself, because this is low. You are a human being, not some kind of kitten-puppy thrown on the side of the road by some non-human, which you or someone else should really help. In general, you must be the first to come to someone's aid. This will bring you pleasure from the thought that you are useful to someone, that you are needed;
- the following, also important rules, you can read from the Bible. I am serious (in the sense that the 10 commandments are the foundation of the philosophy of human life).
I would like to end the article with a song, a song about UTOG. In general, it is a long, very long name (I don’t know why they came up with it): public organization "All-Ukrainian public organization for people with hearing disabilities "Ukrainian Society of the Deaf". We simply call our organization: UTOG. Short and clear. UTOG is an organization that unites people with hearing impairments into one family. Its member can be both a Deaf person and a person with normal hearing who does something in UTOG and benefits the Deaf community. The only thing you need to know is that UTOG mainly unites sign language Deaf people. However, the community has quite a large number of late-deaf people. I will not tell in detail, because there is complete information on the UTOG website (https://utog.org/contacts). The core of the organization is the Central Board of UTOG (74 Velika Vasylkivska St., Kyiv, 03150). Subdivisions - regional organizations of UTOG operate in each oblast. Practically in every region there was a UTOG House of Culture (kapos war!). There are our own recreation centers in Pushcha-Vodytsia (Kyiv), near Ochakov (Mykolaiv Region) and in Odesa Region. (Bay). The main areas of work are social, rehabilitation, cultural, sports, etc. Regular events: both at the all-Ukrainian level and at the international level (and yes, there are quite a lot of events at the regional level). There are enterprises that specialize in three areas: metalworking, woodworking and textiles. The partner of UTOG is SFSU - Sports Federation of the Deaf Country: in addition to popularizing a healthy active lifestyle, the federation in all regions prepares athletes to participate in international competitions such as the Deaflympic Games. If we put aside the unpleasant facts in the activities of UTOG, namely the desire of the state at the government level to deprive UTOG of support (which has been for two years in a row), then our organization is Our Life, Our Home. By the way, UTOG is a permanent member of the World Federation of the Deaf.
How can UTOG help you? Let's start with the fact that together with its membership you will start learning sign language without it, and later you will be thankful more than once that you know sign language. In addition to the fact that you will be able to find some form of leisure or do sports, you will find new friends. You will be able to study to get a higher education: you will be advised where it is better to submit documents, so that you can probably find a job either in the world of those who hear, or in the world of the Deaf (by the way, in the UTOG system you can meet an employee from among those , who hears - not uncommon).
Here, in the organization, there is a 24-hour online translation service called "UTOG Service": You can apply anywhere and anytime, and receive, in addition to the translation itself, a consultation of a diverse nature free of charge, or simply order products from "Silpo ” or “Ashanu”. By means of sign language))). I'm just kidding: at first you'll be helped by a writing tool or something else.
It is dark outside the window, because it is late in the evening... I hope that they will not turn off the light and I will have time to send the article so that you can read it. It seems that I managed to tell you quite a lot. And you received a considerable amount of new information for yourself, which will support you on the new lane of your life path. You are now armed. Godspeed! And do not forget to extend a helping hand to other people who may need you.
The article was created in support of the project "Inclusive society in Ukraine. Handbook of practical recommendations".
The project was implemented with the support of the EU Representation in Ukraine and the International Renaissance Foundation.
Download the Handbook of practical recommendations: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hIvuN969KGUwgvv0UYFpkOA55v1izB7l?fbclid=IwAR1VVvLpHhWJfh28w9bBTK885uBtShC34_iSWnATJZFk3OBHWelp_ynq-k8