The project "Together through trials" from the Yarmiz Center, which was supported by European Union in Ukraine and and International Renaissance Foundation has been going on for over four months. During this time, a team of specialists has conducted trainings for military psychologists and family psychologists. In addition, as part of the project, servicemen underwent creative recovery using a special methodology.
What is the point of this project? How to teach military men to talk about feelings, and their partners to understand the complexities of service? Why is it necessary to work with couples' relationships, especially during war and trials? Svitlana Boyko, the head of the Yarmiz projects, told about this.
How necessary do you think the project "Together Through Trials" was and how successful is it?
The project did not appear by chance. We continue the systematic work that we have been building since 2022. In the conditions of the 12th year of the war, exhaustion, tension in relationships, requests for consultations and training have increased, so we did not invent something new, but collected the most relevant programs from those that are already working: training psychologists, working with commanders, individual and pair consultations, recovery through creativity. It turned out holistically and the project meets real needs.
Do you have a favorite part of the project and why?
I like that each of our projects covers different areas. Perhaps the warmest is the “Recovery through Creativity” class. Very subtle things happen there. People who have lived in a state of tension for a long time take up paints and associations, memories, and meanings emerge from simple lines and colors. Someone remembers childhood, someone - travels, someone suddenly sees a symbol of strength in their work. And it’s not about art, but about restoring the ability to feel life.
I also like the training of psychologists who work with couples of military and veteran families. The format turned out to be very rich - a combination of theory, practice, supervision. Last year, 45 civilian and military psychologists took this course, this year - 22. Many of the participants noted that this training sets the quality standard for further trainingFor us, this is a sign that we are moving in the right direction and creating an environment for professional development.
YARMIS is the only veteran space in the country that pays attention to the ability to see the feelings and states of a partner. That is, it does not work only with wives or only with military personnel, but teaches to pay attention to relationships in couples. Are there any reviews from military personnel or wives that inspire you and make you understand that the direction you have chosen is the right one?
We receive many warm responses from wives and partners who attend support groups. They say that these meetings help them better understand themselves and their husbands, realize what happens during stress, and not be afraid of the changes that come after long separations. For many, it is a space where they can talk and see that they are not alone.
After the training, the military also begin to look at their relationships differently – they notice how difficult it is to wait, how much a woman holds onto, and they realize that caring is possible even at a distance. That a simple, sincere conversation can bring understanding and warmth back into a relationship, that it is worth learning to listen and hear each other – and this is what can become a support for a couple in times of war.
We also see how after couples counseling, partners begin to hear each other, the tension decreases. There are times when, after several meetings, people say: “we understand again that we are on the same side.” This is very inspiring and confirms that we are moving in the right direction.
What do partners need most (from your observations)?
We are all different, each couple is special, and each needs something different. But, I think, the first thing is to be heard. This manifests itself in each person in their own way: someone needs not to be interrupted, someone needs not to be evaluated, someone simply wants a presence without words. But the essence is the same - the desire for mutual understanding. And we see that even those couples who come in a state of fatigue and distrust can find a foothold again when they learn to speak frankly, without mutual accusations.
What inspires the team that conducts trainings and implements the project?
People. Defenders who hold on and at the same time remain alive in their feelings.
Our strong, gentle, loving women.
A huge number of requests for training, positive feedback and recommendations.
What is the main meaning of "Together Through Trials"?
In the very word "together". Because even the strongest are exhausted if there is no one around. Our task is to help people feel connected, supported, and trusted. And then any trials will be easier to overcome.
The material was prepared within the framework of the project "Together through trials" with the support of European Union in Ukraine and and International Renaissance Foundation within the framework of the joint initiative "Joining the EU Together". The material represents the position of the authors and does not necessarily reflect the position of the European Union or the International Renaissance Foundation.