How to establish communication in conditions of war? How did the war affect the psychological state of people? The director of the YARMIZ center, psychologist Maryna Syrytsia answered these and other questions in an interview with an online publication Gard. City.
Marina Syrytsia is a highly qualified psychologist and psychotherapist, trainer and author of programs for military personnel and their family members. She has eleven years of experience working with veterans of the Russian-Ukrainian war and their families. Maryna Syrytsia talks to Gard.City journalist about her observations of the mental state of the population and communication. How do crisis situations affect health? Read
Acquaintance
She studied cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy at the Kyiv Institute of Modern Psychology and Psychotherapy (KISPP), emotionally-focused psychotherapy and EMDR, master's degree in psychology. She works as a teacher at the Military Institute of KNU named after Taras Shevchenko. She is married, her husband is a military serviceman, she is raising a son. In March 2024, she was appointed director Center "Yarmiz", whose team includes Maryna Syritsa since its foundation.
- Assistance in the provision of psychological, social, humanitarian assistance to participants in hostilities in Ukraine, as well as to members of their families and families who have suffered losses.
- Promoting the development of international relations, relationships and cooperation with public and charitable organizations, other foundations and individuals in Ukraine and abroad, studying their experience, sharing experience.
Now the center's team works with the assistance of the "Renaissance" International Foundation.
Let's start a conversation with Marina on the issue that interests me the most.
"A person feels the war with his body, his well-being, and his mental state"
— Your observations: how did the war affect the psychological state of the population?
So, we can talk about the fact that a person feels the war physically - in fact, with his body, his well-being, and his mental state. If we investigate a little and pay attention to our body and physical health, then this is what we see. Many people have tension and anxiety, talk about overexcitement, which can be the result of flights nearby or complex news from the Internet. People talk about exhaustion and fatigue, because after all, the lack of normal sleep does not go in vain, and then we do not cover our basic needs for rest. Lack of good food — a diet, a balanced diet, sometimes even overeating is possible. Also, the body can react with certain somatic manifestations: headaches, migraines, the stomach can give manifestations - this is inflammation of the stomach, the digestive system - this is diarrhea, that is, our body always shows us that it is not okay with all this. And our task with you is to notice this and react to it, and try not to make these symptoms habitual, but still pay attention to them.
If we talk about the mental state, then we will definitely have different emotional swings from such a protracted long war, from certain pleasant news, for example, that some territory of Ukraine has been liberated or an exchange of prisoners has taken place, at the same time gives a feeling of happiness and sadness, because we understand that and then a certain territory remains occupied, losses continue. And we have very quick mood changes, where we can be genuinely happy for half an hour, and then in half an hour the situation in the country changes and a person feels sadness, longing, a lot of anger, a lot of helplessness about what could be done during the war, if so it would be possible to get in the way. And, of course, our task is to talk about the mental state, which can lead to the following manifestations of apathy: "I can't do anything", "I don't want anything", a feeling of lost motivation, taste for life. Such manifestations are similar to depression. Life becomes gray, it lacks colors, there are no bright colors. And if we are talking about the fact that a person has been in this condition for 11 years, then, most likely, these are conditions that require special attention and help from specialists. We should definitely note about anxiety, anxiety, various manifestations in the form of experiences, in the form of thoughts, in the form of consideration of the worst scenarios. There is great uncertainty, which will also cause anxiety and a sense of powerlessness in this uncertainty, that we cannot secure ourselves.
"Yarmiz" translated from dialectic means a way out, an opportunity, a way to get out of a difficult, threatening situation, to give order, salvation
Photo: from the personal archive of Maryna Syritsa
"A large number of appeals with symptoms of anxiety"
- Who are your customers? What are more: age, sex, adults, children? Where else? Is there any tendency to generalize?
— Our appeals are completely different, especially to the "Yarmiz" center. Our center supports such a target audience as military personnel, veterans, members of their families, and there are no age or gender restrictions, it is more about requests and these requests are difficult stories of how to cope, stories of how to talk about difficult things, about losses , about despair in the family, in a couple, and these are difficult questions about where to look for support, how to support each other - this is if we are talking about couples who can come to us, about visitors to our center.
Photo: from the personal archive of Maryna Syritsa
"We are able to master different ways of interaction"
— Our editorial office works in a project that studies the topic of communication. Do you think the style of communication between people, authorities and communities has changed now, during a full-scale invasion? Is there a difference between online and offline meetings?
— If we talk about the format of work, then both I and the team that works with me, we work in different formats, we have both offline and online formats. Each format has its advantages. The offline format gives the opportunity to be in the same space, the opportunity to be included in the moment here and now, it is a format of friendly conversation in which trust is established faster and better. If we talk about the psychologist's work tool, the online format is also good and effective in its own way, because it covers a larger number of people. And a larger number of people from small regions and from different parts of Ukraine can join and ask for advice, if there is a good Internet and there is an opportunity to get such a service regarding mental health, to support themselves, to look for opportunities. Therefore, both that and the other format are now valuable, useful and necessary in their own way. And we have to use it. And in fact, we use this format in remote areas, if a person does not have the opportunity to apply, then someone from relatives creates such an opportunity, brings a laptop or tablet, arrives at the appointed time and the person can receive a consultation. With this format, we strengthen the capacity and accessibility of our service for different regions, where it is possible or not possible to visit psychologists.
I observe that communication between people has changed, and it has changed in equal proportion in different directions. We can observe more aggression, people are more exhausted, people are not sleeping, there is irritation with each other, which we see, for example, in public transport, in social networks. People became more irritated and less tolerant of each other. But at the same time, I observe that there is another experience where people have become more careful, attentive, more tactful, and this gives me hope that we are able to master different ways of interaction. We are all working in such a hyper mode now, and our brain tends to push something out, to forget something, and when we have patience for this, on the roads, in transport, passing each other, thanking, thanking the coffee, thanking the ZSU, we sow the good seeds of that that we are a nation that can remain a human nation.
I would definitely raise the issue that we may not understand each other and we may have many misunderstandings, because we meet in the same places with different experiences of living the same war. Someone will have the consequences of being in captivity in their past, there will be some story that the person was forced to leave and was a refugee for these two years, someone will be an internally displaced person, someone will be a soldier who was on the front lines, someone will be a person who was not involved , not in the service, but helped by volunteering, there will be a story where a person did not help in any way, because she believed that it was not a part of her life. We will definitely have a certain difference in experience, but still - a combination of one war. Be that as it may, there is something that will unite us, and something that will distinguish us. We will need to learn dialogues, we will need to learn how to be in them, how to accept the traumatic experience of another person and how not to be measured by the traumatic experience of someone whose trauma is stronger. And these are all new challenges that await Ukrainians. And we will be ready for it if we see it as another task that has come before us. And we will definitely be able to solve this problem.
The YARMIZ Center was launched at the end of 2019 on the initiative of veterans and volunteersPhoto: from the personal archive of Maryna Syritsa
"Let's remember that war grows in each of us"
— What advice would you give to our readers?
— What helps people hear each other, what helps people establish wonderful conversations where there is sensitivity, trust, openness? This is a story where each of us must remember that we do not know what state a person is in now, why he reacts aggressively, may shout or break some rule. We need to have a little more compassion and understand that behind every aggression there is some kind of pain that we may not know or notice right now. Not every aggression requires an aggressive response. And not every aggressive question needs an answer at all. Look for safe conversations, facilitate them. If you hear that the person is not so sensitive and understanding towards you now, you can stop this conversation, or simply say that this is not acceptable for you. That is, in any case, we can avoid intensifying conflicts — avoid becoming part of those who will put firewood into conflicts. We can always say: I don't really understand your aggression towards me now, but I would like to continue the conversation in a slightly different tone, let's take a break and try to return to this conversation after a certain time, for example, 5-10 minutes; let's drink coffee or water and return to our question.
When we start a dialogue, let's remember why you come to this dialogue, that is, what is the main task of this dialogue, what do you want to prove, what story, what opinion to convey. Unfortunately, when we start arguing and finding fault, we forget the main goal: what we want to say.
Let's remember that war grows in each of us. And that there is a common enemy against which we must unite and act together, and then the thought of unification will help us find common solutions.